tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18156312068221258362024-02-24T12:46:38.513-08:00Stuff Nigerians Love/HateAdminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08752557215057584838noreply@blogger.comBlogger312125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815631206822125836.post-4733333571722818202014-01-21T06:34:00.000-08:002014-11-13T14:34:15.357-08:00Moved!I want to try something different so I'm moving the blog to <a href="http://ebaforbreakfast.wordpress.com/">wordpress</a>!!!<br />
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Oh, new name too.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://ebaforbreakfast.wordpress.com/">New Home</a></span><br />
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and there's a food blog too <a href="http://www.eatdrinklagos.com/"><span style="font-size: large;">Eat.Drink.Lagos</span></a>Brosahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06626380459936412229noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815631206822125836.post-65934376382802916822014-01-09T11:22:00.001-08:002014-01-09T11:22:20.465-08:00Nobody Is Nice On The Internet<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Kemi Adetiba turned 34 and <a href="http://lindaikeji.blogspot.com/2014/01/tv-gal-kemi-adetiba-seductive-in-new.html">Linda did the usual "grab picture from instagram" story thing.</a> Normal stuff. </div>
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The pictures weren't bad to be honest.<br />
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COME ON! That's harmless as all fucks.<br />
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Never change, Nigerian internet commenters. Never change.Brosahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06626380459936412229noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815631206822125836.post-76817214085916052002013-12-19T15:00:00.000-08:002013-12-19T15:00:01.841-08:00"I pay my tithes after every robbery operation"- Lagos robber<blockquote class="tr_bq">
A 24-year old armed robbery suspect, Mr. Tajudeen Onifara has revealed the secret behind his success in the underworld for nine years during which he robbed many people of their money and other possessions. He confessed to the police that he was dutifully paying his tithe to his church, Christ Living Ministry, Lagos Island, as commanded in the Bible after every successful robbery operation in Lagos, western Nigeria.</blockquote>
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A couple days ago, some girl on twitter said Christians go to heaven not good people. I don't care where you stand on religion but that's the dumbest thing I've heard in my life. So you're telling me this robber has better chance of going to heaven because he pays his tithes and capitalizes the "g" in "God"?<br />
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The father of two said he paid his tithe regularly because he believed that as a Christian God always bless a faithful tither. He disclosed that after every successful operation, he would remove 10 percent of the money he stole from people and pay as tithe to church. Onifara attributed his success in crime for nine years to the fact that he paid his tithe regularly as commanded by God in Malachi chapter 3 verse 10 and 11. The verses, he said, mandated Christians to give 10 percent of their earnings as tithe to the church.</blockquote>
I honestly believe Nigerians would rather be religious people than be good people. Being "good" is far too much stress. It's so much easier to go to church every Sunday than it is not be a dickhead every day.<br />
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"You telling I have to stop being a tardbucket everyday? EVERYDAY?" - Nigerians, probably.<br />
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On what he did with all the money he stole over the years, he explained that he used the money to enrol his children in one of the best schools in Lagos and opened a supermarket at Idumagbo on Lagos Island.</blockquote>
He is a good father so I guess I have to give him that.<br />
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<a href="http://www.ynaija.com/shocking-confession-of-lagos-armed-robber-i-paid-tithe-after-every-operation/?utm_source=Y!&utm_medium=twitter">[YNaija] </a>Brosahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06626380459936412229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815631206822125836.post-74206363341548645522013-12-13T23:56:00.002-08:002013-12-13T23:56:47.756-08:00Little Kids Stranded<div style="text-align: center;">
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Again, I'm doing World Cup previews over at <a href="http://www.sportsdey.com/search/label/Know%20Thy%20Enemy">SportsDEY</a>. You'll probably like it even if you don't have the faintest clue how soccer works. Trust me. I need you guys to check it out so SuperSport can hire me and we can take Victor Ikpeba off TV forever. Also, so I can buy my trad with crest.<br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Anyway...</span></span><br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Linda Ikeji asked the following question on her <span style="color: #021eaa; letter-spacing: 0px;"><a href="http://lindaikeji.blogspot.com/2013/06/question-of-day.html?utm_source=feedly&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed:+blogspot/OqshX+(Welcome+to+Linda+Ikeji's+Blog)">blog</a> </span>a while back,</span></span><br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">You are driving on a lonely bridge late at night (in Naija o)...let's say around 11pm, and you see two little children - say 5 and 2, on the side of the bridge just sitting there crying...would you stop your car to pick them up or just continue driving? Why would you pick them up? And why wouldn't you?</span></i></span></blockquote>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Personally, I wouldn’t pick them up. I’d let them die there. Why? Because I hate little kids. They cry. They scream. They don’t listen. They are dirty. I honestly can’t remember the last time I flew and I didn’t want to flush a crying child down the toilet. Ever seen a mother, near tears, beg her child to use her “inside voice”? Ever seen aforementioned child completely ignore that request and run off screaming. Yes, little kids are the absolute worst. This is not up for debate. Sure, you can spank them in Nigeria, but have you seen them cry? They can’t even cry with dignity! Why do you have snot all over your face because you’re crying? Why you cry neatly? Have your tears stream down in an orderly manner?</span></span><br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Anyway, I digress...</span></span><br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Valid point, <a href="http://lindaikeji.blogspot.com/2013/06/question-of-day.html?showComment=1371777670331%23c1867134327316025152"><span style="color: #021eaa; letter-spacing: 0px;">Nneotta-Sally</span></a>. Why should they be out at that time? Well, it’s because kids are evil. They’re probably the armed robbers.</span></span><br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Sounds about right, <a href="http://lindaikeji.blogspot.com/2013/06/question-of-day.html?showComment=1371778478421%23c407046075747190476"><span style="color: #021eaa; letter-spacing: 0px;">anonymous-person-on-the-internet</span></a>. It’s probably kids transforming to armed robbers though. Those imps can really do anything. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; letter-spacing: 0px;">Soooo...you’re not going to pick them up, </span><a href="http://lindaikeji.blogspot.com/2013/06/question-of-day.html?showComment=1371777888879%23c7392097962015955452" style="font-family: inherit; letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: #021eaa; letter-spacing: 0px;">Anon</span></a><span style="font-family: inherit; letter-spacing: 0px;">?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; letter-spacing: 0px;">My dear, </span><a href="http://lindaikeji.blogspot.com/2013/06/question-of-day.html?showComment=1371780128476%23c5806606410042457627" style="font-family: inherit; letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: #021eaa; letter-spacing: 0px;">pearlzville T.O</span></a><span style="font-family: inherit; letter-spacing: 0px;">, you really don’t know what you’re signing up for. No amount of prayer can stop children from being the worst. Your mind won’t be at ease because they’re guilt tripping you.</span><span style="font-family: inherit; letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8ZzpqeB2ybHo6GbGmTD-udT6X2jsvMxLk0IlHpscbjgsIb_F_XVCZsqKwp-ntXl7yfVeiKEiTqAHSiORZrdzvWeNC5DxxTZPPBtxrZZDhYFTt7gNitVq4rFJnjwYP2rZzIe4S17PD2T7u/s1600/Comment5.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="92" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8ZzpqeB2ybHo6GbGmTD-udT6X2jsvMxLk0IlHpscbjgsIb_F_XVCZsqKwp-ntXl7yfVeiKEiTqAHSiORZrdzvWeNC5DxxTZPPBtxrZZDhYFTt7gNitVq4rFJnjwYP2rZzIe4S17PD2T7u/s640/Comment5.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Exactly what I said! You’re like in my mind, <a href="http://lindaikeji.blogspot.com/2013/06/question-of-day.html?showComment=1371780524848%23c3934092707510021868"><span style="color: #021eaa; letter-spacing: 0px;">HighJ</span></a>. Twinsies!</span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbHVj0_lNPoFT0qgtMNvBDIbAxHnlEspswJ5uXwzfEzxCGqt5BxAu2Wd0xOh4hRnnNJMLts_sY-MRGb2ZXX7JtITAevjyYX7bcFnLCZF-F_nMLfXCXybUTT-o_U5PdUAuU3pdB476uvK5c/s1600/COmment6.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="178" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbHVj0_lNPoFT0qgtMNvBDIbAxHnlEspswJ5uXwzfEzxCGqt5BxAu2Wd0xOh4hRnnNJMLts_sY-MRGb2ZXX7JtITAevjyYX7bcFnLCZF-F_nMLfXCXybUTT-o_U5PdUAuU3pdB476uvK5c/s640/COmment6.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">And there you have it. Don’t pick up little demons stranded on a bridge at odd hours like my friend, <a href="http://lindaikeji.blogspot.com/2013/06/question-of-day.html?showComment=1371783814391%23c5286083358158900101"><span style="color: #021eaa; letter-spacing: 0px;">Beauty</span></a>, suggests. </span></span>Brosahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06626380459936412229noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815631206822125836.post-67107946104002549352013-12-11T03:36:00.002-08:002013-12-11T03:36:46.487-08:00Update<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqsgN2v8ugnxh25nTYcx7hB_4u1ya8GXIRNmEDTTfZ9oJgPpsaHka1kwEEooXWHLxrlGsxWOqwAbCr-6FeR4vtokLLlMB1867dIXMAabncA_di5oBs2e3vuLJGlMCN_a1njIpT48ULF2b6/s1600/Photo+Nov+12,+6+08+30+PM.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqsgN2v8ugnxh25nTYcx7hB_4u1ya8GXIRNmEDTTfZ9oJgPpsaHka1kwEEooXWHLxrlGsxWOqwAbCr-6FeR4vtokLLlMB1867dIXMAabncA_di5oBs2e3vuLJGlMCN_a1njIpT48ULF2b6/s400/Photo+Nov+12,+6+08+30+PM.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
<br />
Just a little update.<br />
<br />
I'm doing some sports writing over at <a href="http://sportsdey.com/">Sports DEY!</a> because NYSC and stuffs. Doing some World Cup previews until one of your fathers cancels NYSC so I can begin my life as a Lagos Big Boy.<br />
<br />
First one is up <a href="http://www.sportsdey.com/2013/12/know-thy-enemy-brazil.html">here</a><br />
<br />
PS. I really get why Nigerians are always so angry on the internet. It's so damn hot.Brosahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06626380459936412229noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815631206822125836.post-23025958354006421202013-04-02T10:14:00.001-07:002013-04-02T10:15:59.394-07:00Dead Horse, Leave Alone<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
You know what I wish would go away? Like, “kidnapped in the
Niger Delta” type of go away? That “Oga At The Top” thing. I wish the whole
thing would die a terrible death. Cancer meets AIDS meets herpes meets
explosive diarrhea death. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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It was funny at first, I’ll admit. I laughed a little. Then, the twitter jokes came. Not as funny,
but not past its shelf life either. Then, the <a href="http://primegossips.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/my-oga-at-the-top3.jpg">shirts</a> + <a href="http://234pulse.com/2013/03/16/my-oga-at-the-top-video-game-released-play-here/">game</a> + <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDFwwLYSdIw">remix</a> came…</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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OMG MAKE IT STOP<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="http://i.imgur.com/iTKZr1I.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i.imgur.com/iTKZr1I.jpg" height="216" width="320" /></a></div>
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Then...<a href="http://www.punchng.com/entertainment/saturday-beats/oga-at-the-top-movie-debuts/">this</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.osundefender.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Oga-at-the-top-movie-debuts.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.osundefender.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Oga-at-the-top-movie-debuts.jpg" height="320" width="234" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KO2pFQMX2zY">STAHHP IT, GUYS! STAAAHHHP!</a><o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="http://i.imgur.com/KvTCrGu.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i.imgur.com/KvTCrGu.jpg" height="309" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">Side note: <a href="http://dailypost.com.ng/2013/04/02/oga-at-the-top-nscdc-finally-removes-shem-obafaiye-as-lagos-commandant/">dude got fired. </a></span></i><o:p></o:p></div>
Brosahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06626380459936412229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815631206822125836.post-46592320879319334632012-09-04T06:00:00.000-07:002012-09-04T06:00:01.619-07:00LOLWUT: Nigerian Man Caught With Cocaine-Stuffed Roasted Chicken<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a5/Roast_chicken.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="306" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a5/Roast_chicken.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
A Nigerian mechanic who struggled in Brazil for more than six years had hoped the drugs would buy him a life of luxury in his native land, Nigerian authorities said Monday.</blockquote>
<div>
Nope. <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/2012/09/03/world/africa/ap-af-odd-nigeria-cocaine-roasted-chicken.html?_r=1&ref=aponline">It's not a joke.</a></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"This was like a retirement plan for him," said Mitchell Ofoyeju, spokesman for the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency.The accused was arrested over the weekend at the airport in Lagos after he came in from Sao Paulo with 2.6 kilograms (5.7 pounds) of cocaine, Ofoyeju said. </blockquote>
<div>
Dude was just going to sell the dope and build him a nice house in the village. I'll bet you $100 that he's Igbo.</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
The suspect, Vincent Chegini Chinweuwa, could not immediately be reached for comment as he remained in custody Monday.</blockquote>
Ha! Brosahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06626380459936412229noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815631206822125836.post-48336474708884797412012-09-03T16:05:00.002-07:002012-09-03T16:06:39.051-07:00About Nigerian Men & GirlfriendsNot to be left out, the guys have their say.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/4dn_lPs_rzY?list=UUYqyzNqFk0VFSu4ngwopPpg&hl=en_US" width="560"></iframe><br />
<br />
They actually stretch the topic a bit.Brosahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06626380459936412229noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815631206822125836.post-90861607066812178952012-08-28T05:12:00.000-07:002012-08-28T05:12:09.790-07:00About Nigerian Women & Boyfriends<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Lw3uAqT2iQE" width="420"></iframe><br />
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<br />
LOL!Brosahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06626380459936412229noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815631206822125836.post-80688813135483018592012-07-22T11:49:00.001-07:002012-07-22T11:49:33.902-07:00WHAT TYPE OF FAMILY?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRegD8Ix9cVblDgBprytjTB7-_CFhvm1jLm2hEH6aLdmiEpBbyN8nShLF1TzoLc6cUk6cGcwDATuc0Of0dgBGC4-JUax7slzvZoGIO00NvnUrgTiGzzBxQopkPk4o6D-hENO0G2X-HsZw6/s1600/Screen+Shot+2012-07-22+at+1.48.06+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="87" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRegD8Ix9cVblDgBprytjTB7-_CFhvm1jLm2hEH6aLdmiEpBbyN8nShLF1TzoLc6cUk6cGcwDATuc0Of0dgBGC4-JUax7slzvZoGIO00NvnUrgTiGzzBxQopkPk4o6D-hENO0G2X-HsZw6/s400/Screen+Shot+2012-07-22+at+1.48.06+PM.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />Brosahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06626380459936412229noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815631206822125836.post-81075943568773063422012-07-06T13:40:00.001-07:002012-07-06T13:40:32.877-07:00AfroCandy Is Back? I ThinkLast time we saw our heroine she was...actually, I can't remember what AfroCandy put out last. Was it <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEcwzt-Jy28">"Who Go Be My Man"</a>? Last thing I remember was her getting twitter to stop me from using her twitter account. I'm still upset, but that vex is for another day.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/f3pYfkHCtQ8" width="420"></iframe><br />
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I don't think she likes the fact that Vic.O and Majela took her shine. Not her fault, I'd be mad if some talentless Calabar cretin took my spotlight despite my big budget videos.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMYugInbBgd1SQVaJD28x9vc5jQTzCrFF9qTV-M54DxLeNT__RCxtu4J-AAOSQpFn-SYjIzFp6aGndgNmDsLC8WbPhRRFSVAtgWEoknZGWWz2v8UN45f6eYSzNPoRWjOtZ5-YKJfjXf5uq/s1600/AfroMinaj.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMYugInbBgd1SQVaJD28x9vc5jQTzCrFF9qTV-M54DxLeNT__RCxtu4J-AAOSQpFn-SYjIzFp6aGndgNmDsLC8WbPhRRFSVAtgWEoknZGWWz2v8UN45f6eYSzNPoRWjOtZ5-YKJfjXf5uq/s400/AfroMinaj.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
Ah! I see what you did here, AfroCandy.<br />
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Anyone catch the autotune on it? AfroCandy came back with an even bigger budget. Maybe that's why she disappeared for a bit. She had to pick up more shifts at Wal-Mart to raise the money. Makes sense.<br />
<br />
I don't really like the song or video. The song seems too experimental for me. There wasn't any Igbo in it. She shouldn't stray too far from her strengths. Speaking of strengths, the video isn't as suggestive as her earlier material. This is why I wanted to be her manager, she really needs guidance. She needs to work that cleavage and expose those thighs. Watch the "Ikebe Na Money" video again, that's AfroCandy at her finest. This falls short BIG time.Brosahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06626380459936412229noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815631206822125836.post-67430961315338889542012-07-06T13:10:00.001-07:002012-07-06T13:10:24.665-07:00Can I Get Credit?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1ZhyphenhyphenjTOQgr9Sohzx6hw4NudwJJZI3cZ8OBI3cs8Jcre7naXDd91W8JSXcoEFolbe3A-ZXPDe6kdCq2ZumweO_zM0NIdpNcbsGfgAyM1ZYpN9XKddIa4NygTqaAVBOIiqNUy2W-8QYy0cR/s1600/photo+(1).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1ZhyphenhyphenjTOQgr9Sohzx6hw4NudwJJZI3cZ8OBI3cs8Jcre7naXDd91W8JSXcoEFolbe3A-ZXPDe6kdCq2ZumweO_zM0NIdpNcbsGfgAyM1ZYpN9XKddIa4NygTqaAVBOIiqNUy2W-8QYy0cR/s320/photo+(1).JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7HcRRRhDu4ZH8mKAfSmB5dxf07U3D6JtfM8DbsK3AthyphenhyphenkJ6jC1RITA-n8Kv0nZ5h7920eJmKAc8VCWppbFzohHXWZ1fsX8lMNcGet3NNDq38fix4Ag17H83CaGWpPm_NDjCzF4pixx_F5/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="271" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7HcRRRhDu4ZH8mKAfSmB5dxf07U3D6JtfM8DbsK3AthyphenhyphenkJ6jC1RITA-n8Kv0nZ5h7920eJmKAc8VCWppbFzohHXWZ1fsX8lMNcGet3NNDq38fix4Ag17H83CaGWpPm_NDjCzF4pixx_F5/s320/photo.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
I<span style="background-color: white;">'m pretty sure someone super important reads this blog. Anyone remember <a href="http://stuffnigerianshate.blogspot.com/2012/03/champayne-what.html">this</a>? So, if you want any more ideas, you can feel free to email me. Can I get idea credits too? Or maybe a couple of breakfast tacos as a token of your appreciation?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">I really can't wait for these shows to start. I'll definitely do episode recaps. Definitely.</span>Brosahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06626380459936412229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815631206822125836.post-78816398517166077802012-06-13T08:33:00.000-07:002012-06-13T08:33:35.125-07:00Thin Line Between Pedophilia And DeliveranceI have no problem with religion for the most part. In theory, it's an absolutely beautiful thing. The whole "believing without proof" thing is awesome. However, sometimes it gets to a point where people lose their rationality in the name of faith. They put their pastors on such lofty pedestals and more often than not, it produces situations like the <a href="http://stuffnigerianshate.blogspot.com/2012/05/teflon-oyedepo.html">Oyedepo one</a>.<br />
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Or <a href="http://www.channelstv.com/home/2012/06/13/pastor-rapes-11-year-old-witch-while-conducting-deliverance/?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter">this</a>.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
A Pentecostal pastor in Onitsha, Anambra State was on Tuesday detained at the Central Police Station (CPS), Onitsha for allegedly raping an 11-year-old girl while supposedly delivering her from witchcraft.</blockquote>
I guess you have to fuck the witches out sometimes.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
The pastor, whose church is situated at Tasia Road, Inland Town, Onitsha, was said to have told Chioma Onyeji, mother of the rape victim, who was in the church for a spiritual programme to leave the girl behind for some days in order to expel the evil spirit in her.</blockquote>
That "rationality out the window" thing? Yup, this is it right here.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
He further said the young girl possessed demonic spirit and witchcraft and consequently insisted that the girl should stay back with him.</blockquote>
How do you when someone's possessed anyway? Is it like an <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070047/">Exorcist</a>-type thing or are there signs that help the identification? Is there a WebMD for the supernatural?<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Upon investigation, the girl told her mother that the pastor raped her three times after spreading white cloth on the floor.</blockquote>
-_______-<br />
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Your "WTF of the day". Enjoy!<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
</blockquote>Brosahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06626380459936412229noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815631206822125836.post-66272726668334420032012-06-10T17:04:00.000-07:002012-06-10T17:04:04.830-07:00Guess Who's Trolling For Dinner<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSLUo68TDgIT_1J_Vn5OryqDqhgcNLgbQR43ua39-wZsgLzaVllrHMP-0QjG12A15DuYw-D8c7Q5AtsJtOr8KyMLl-aruQMagaWFSv5tjt8yI6jSXA7J7aaev5og99_7pGZKikZok_R7g_/s1600/Screen+Shot+2012-06-10+at+6.38.18+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSLUo68TDgIT_1J_Vn5OryqDqhgcNLgbQR43ua39-wZsgLzaVllrHMP-0QjG12A15DuYw-D8c7Q5AtsJtOr8KyMLl-aruQMagaWFSv5tjt8yI6jSXA7J7aaev5og99_7pGZKikZok_R7g_/s400/Screen+Shot+2012-06-10+at+6.38.18+PM.png" width="397" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
Damn. <div>
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<div>
Looks like Linda has done it again. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
The original post has been deleted, but it got copied and pasted on some <a href="http://www.fabmimi.com/2012/06/ndako-mijindaadi-marries-eventhough-he.html#.T9UuwOJYvp8">random Nigerian gossip blog</a>. Why do Nigerian gossip blogs want to be like Linda so bad? They don't even edit the posts. They even copy Linda's silly additions to her posts too. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I digress. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The post in question is the standard "Linda is trolling" post. The one where everyone can tell what Linda is getting at, but she's all coy and whatnot. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNmQiNOOjNO1BdoOxcxC0WY8noMWPUVeexzeGRut0u5E_c_bRTQzBLcEBRHrrKu9p1roUiEVas0tJ6Fe5ujdqp0riRKiqNEdPvKKsL-KXwijiMbz7ahQ2JBWdJB_pqloIJYASPihgyJ3bP/s1600/Screen+Shot+2012-06-10+at+6.45.26+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="246" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNmQiNOOjNO1BdoOxcxC0WY8noMWPUVeexzeGRut0u5E_c_bRTQzBLcEBRHrrKu9p1roUiEVas0tJ6Fe5ujdqp0riRKiqNEdPvKKsL-KXwijiMbz7ahQ2JBWdJB_pqloIJYASPihgyJ3bP/s400/Screen+Shot+2012-06-10+at+6.45.26+PM.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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See what I'm talking about? Everyone says I'm unnecessarily hard on Linda, but how can you not see this bullshit for what it really is. It's like she's tossing an alley-oop, waiting for the madness in her comment section to begin. I'm not knocking her hustle because posts like this are clearly good for business. My issue here is this rubbish "I only asked a question" shit she pulls. It's so disgustingly insincere.</div>
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I guess Linda won.</div>
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#FunFact: Curses said while kneeling are more effective than regular curses. </div>
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<br /></div>Brosahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06626380459936412229noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815631206822125836.post-1282472406629799552012-05-26T09:18:00.001-07:002012-05-26T09:18:59.286-07:00Teflon OyedepoRemember that "Witch For Jesus" story? I remember sharing it a while ago.<br />
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I think I did. Anyway, if you aren't familiar with it, catch up <a href="http://m.christianpost.com/news/wealthy-nigerian-pastor-claims-slapping-admitted-teen-witch-video-65448/">HERE</a><br />
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Apparently, the girl sued Pastor Oyedepo. She got slapped, she has every right to press charges. That's how it should work. I was on Sahara Reporters* the other day and I found <a href="http://saharareporters.com/news-page/bishop-oyedepo-denies-slapping-church-member-says-he-cannot-be-sued">THIS</a>.<br />
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The multi billionaire founder of the Living Faith Christian Church International, Bishop David Oyedepo, has denied slapping a young member of his congregation; stating that neither he nor his church could be sued.</blockquote>
Wait. What?<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/cDJx-ThnprE" width="560"></iframe><br />
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I'm not imagining things, right? He slaps her in that video. Didn't he brag about it too?<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/KM6h2EX-TIM" width="420"></iframe><br />
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It gets better<br />
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In a notice of preliminary objection filed at the High Court of Ogun State and made available to PREMIUM TIMES; Bishop Oyedepo maintained that he and his church are "non juristic persons" and therefore asked the court to strike out the suit as it lacked jurisdiction to adjudicate on the matter.</blockquote>
Any lawyers in the house? I don't want to misunderstand anything here. Sounds like he's implying that his church can't be sued.<br />
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The church also said that there is no record of anyone called Miss Justice - a sobriquet given to the young lady for the purpose of the suit - in any of its services organized in the past.</blockquote>
But there's a video. I swear I just watched it.<br />
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Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.</blockquote>
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- Exodus 20:16 </div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">*We're going to ignore the fact that Sahara Reporters is one big fat sketchball site</span>Brosahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06626380459936412229noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815631206822125836.post-40240273450840423532012-05-16T15:05:00.000-07:002012-05-16T15:05:45.454-07:00Wizkid Brings The Peckham Ratchets To The Yard...Wizkid is having some competition thing in England. I'd do more research on it, but I'm lazy. The videos, however, are hilarious.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/6QTVlxVWCYg" width="420"></iframe><br />
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Her makeup. Her Yoruba-cum-British accent. The shirt. Her makeup.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/-P1bOMxhm0I" width="420"></iframe><br />
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Someone needs to tell these Yoruba girls to chill.<br />
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<br />Brosahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06626380459936412229noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815631206822125836.post-72773781756513234862012-05-15T19:13:00.001-07:002012-05-15T19:13:44.675-07:00Blog Commenters = Illuminati Ritual ExpertsAnuty Linda put up the <a href="http://gawker.com/5910404/jay+z-comes-out-in-support-of-gay-marriage">Jay-Z being pro-gay marriage story</a>. The usual troll baiting and whatnot. <a href="http://lindaikeji.blogspot.com/2012/05/jay-z-supports-gay-marriage.html">The comment section</a> is bound to be gold.<br />
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From my early observation, there'll be lots of illuminati experts popping up.<br />
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Blog commenters really know things. </div>
<br />Brosahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06626380459936412229noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815631206822125836.post-25750021488386354582012-05-11T07:37:00.004-07:002012-05-26T08:59:59.532-07:00You Searched For...?I got bored and started looking at the blog's referrals today. People really search for the weirdest things.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV9C9izMPiQFpj8inJi88DuFMFdHtr0LjsXS-mm-YR5snp0DoM6gD0Zt5oUvL_oJH25vEixKsQ8UVHVebfHUWPAx0SRwmcLk7H18rbiNGyiq0HgEkDeDLNqqoWtMIV2Yth0ki3ixpWsGRZ/s1600/Screen+Shot+2012-05-11+at+9.28.19+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV9C9izMPiQFpj8inJi88DuFMFdHtr0LjsXS-mm-YR5snp0DoM6gD0Zt5oUvL_oJH25vEixKsQ8UVHVebfHUWPAx0SRwmcLk7H18rbiNGyiq0HgEkDeDLNqqoWtMIV2Yth0ki3ixpWsGRZ/s400/Screen+Shot+2012-05-11+at+9.28.19+AM.png" width="345" /></a></div>
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I'm really having so much confuse right now.</div>
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Thought this one was funny. Nigerians hate Ghanaians because we hate everyone that's not Nigerian and we also like to hate things.</div>
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<br />Brosahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06626380459936412229noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815631206822125836.post-57750018767981348752012-05-07T12:08:00.001-07:002012-05-07T12:30:44.570-07:00Member's StoryShe was my senior in secondary school. Her story is just amazing. Absolutely amazing.<br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
On the 26th of August 2011, Member Feese (pronounced mem-bay fey-say) was involved in a bomb blast at the UN Building which left 19 people dead at the time and many seriously injured. The incident left her with life threatening injuries, which forced her immediate evacuation to London for proper care and treatment. Indeed Member was given only a 3% chance of survival when she arrived the hospital in London.</blockquote>
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/S7s0rhVaeqk" width="560"></iframe><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/G3Tk9m0BXGU" width="560"></iframe>Brosahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06626380459936412229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815631206822125836.post-91104258686286465052012-04-24T11:22:00.001-07:002012-04-24T11:25:32.967-07:00No Country For GoldieSo...<a href="http://www.bellanaija.com/2012/04/24/a-reason-to-love-goldie-every-month-nigerian-pop-sensation-unveils-her-20122013-zodiac-calendar-details-on-her-50000-gold-reloaded-album-contest/">this</a> got brought to my attention. I'm so sad right now.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Am I alone on this or is it just that we can’t get enough of Goldie. </blockquote>
You're definitely alone on this one.<br />
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Yup, definitely <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=OYO&defid=6081949">OYO</a>.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
The talented <b>Nigerian pop sensation</b> recently released her 2012/2013 Zodiac Calendar where she displays different personas for each of the 12 zodiac signs.</blockquote>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">*emphasis mine</span><br />
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Bella Naija really needs to chill. Pop sensation? Has anyone heard her songs? She looks like the Dollar Store Nicki Minaj.<br />
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On sale.<br />
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And we all know Nicki is homeless man's Lady Gaga. So Goldie is...?<br />
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But, that's not even why I'm so upset. Look at this nonsense,<br />
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<a href="http://cdn.bellanaija.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/taurus-1-600x600.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://cdn.bellanaija.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/taurus-1-600x600.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Isn't Taurus a bull? WHY DOES SISTER GOLDIE HAVE AN DAMN ELEPHANT IN HER PICTURE?<br />
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It's not like she had no bull pictures or anything.<br />
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It's like she just sat there and decided to make up her own zodiac. Look, she's dressed as a bumblebee for pisces,<br />
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I'm really upset and I don't think I can voice my feelings with words anymore. So I'll just let my boy Reh Dogg tell you how I really feel.</div>
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We can't let Goldie get away with this.</div>
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<br />Brosahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06626380459936412229noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815631206822125836.post-43162990978892307792012-04-24T06:10:00.000-07:002012-04-24T11:23:57.306-07:00Ghana Really Needs To Go<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/2NSiKPWiIy8" width="420"></iframe><br />
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Man...Brosahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06626380459936412229noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815631206822125836.post-14337640933295682772012-04-17T17:17:00.001-07:002012-04-17T17:20:09.335-07:00Are You A "Pusssing" Babe?<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/SmV-vjG3nhs" width="560"></iframe><br />
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It's really hard not to hate on Davido. Off 3 songs, he has headlined shows and now he's getting endorsements.<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Yes, I'm a hater.</div>Brosahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06626380459936412229noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815631206822125836.post-79301382136838756052012-04-11T05:58:00.000-07:002012-04-11T05:58:49.933-07:00Excuse Me, Mr BanjoBy now, you guys should have heard about D'Banj's name change. If you haven't, you must be living under a rock...or you don't have twitter, which is kinda like the same thing.<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I can totally see the thought process. D'Banj is trying to appeal to his "American" fans, so he is changing his name to something they can pronounce. Nothing unprecedented, I mean, Charlie Sheen was born <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlie_Sheen">"Carlos Estevez"</a>. Or maybe D'Banj wanted to impress this guy,</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div>Let's ignore the fact that no man with braids has been prosperous this year. They're "label" mates, so they're like buddies. Maybe there have been problems pronouncing the name and D'Banj got tired of it all.<br />
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Wait.<br />
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What's <a href="http://www.bellanaija.com/2012/04/11/bn-bytes-i-got-hacked-dbanj-disclaims-daniel-banjo-name-change-via-publicist/">this</a>?<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">Over the past few weeks Dapo Daniel Oyebanjo aka D’Banj has experienced a series of vicious hacks on several of his social networking sites including his Facebook page and more recently, his Twitter of which his account name was wrongfully changed.</blockquote>-Vanessa Amadi, D'Banj's PR<br />
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GET. THE. ENTIRE. FUCK. OUT. OF. HERE.<br />
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In all of recorded history, hackers have never said any of the following:<br />
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<ol><li>"I'm bored, I should hack D'Banj's twitter"</li>
<li>"Oh man, I just learned to hack. I should start from D'Banj's twitter account"</li>
<li>I"'m going to hack the bank account of these "SNLoveHate" kids"</li>
</ol><div>Trust me, I've checked. I've done the research.</div><div><br />
</div><div>Seriously, if you hacked D'Banj's twitter, would you "JUST" change the name. I don't know about you, but I'd do way worse. I'd slander the fuck out of Don Jazzy and I'd have the most condescending "ff bk" rejections, just like those #NigerianTwitter big babes.</div><div><br />
</div><div>"I was hacked" must be 2012's version of "It was the devil". D'Banj and his people must think we're complete imbeciles.</div>Brosahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06626380459936412229noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815631206822125836.post-70463173724048568042012-03-29T14:26:00.002-07:002012-03-29T14:28:04.664-07:00ChamPAYNE what?<blockquote class="tr_bq"><i>A Reality TV Series that documents the life of Toni Payne; a Public Relations Executive, Entertainment Consultant, Online Radio Owner, Socialite, Makeup Brand Owner and Mother.</i></blockquote><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/-ZozASjZROQ" width="420"></iframe><br />
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Who is Toni Payne?<br />
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Why does she get a reality show before I do?<br />
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I've been lobbying for my own reality show for like....forever. My life is super interesting, I am devilishly handsome, and I have the most beautiful brown eyes I've ever seen. WHAT MORE DO THEY WANT?<br />
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Forget me for a second, isn't this the first Nigerian reality show? Forget Big Brother, that was a little to real. I mean like "Jersey Shore" real. I had waaaay better ideas.<br />
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For The Love of Linda - Self explanatory. Trying to find a husband for serial spinster, Linda Ikeji. I already made a promo poster and everything.<br />
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The Island - show chronicling the lives of several rich kids that live on the Island. Must have attended a private secondary school and gone to college in America or England. Nobody cares about Canada.<br />
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Noble Headmaster - Follows Noble and his BFF, Ebuka, on their various Lagos exploits. It'll be like Noble's blog in real life. We might have to pay some women to find him attractive, however.<br />
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Buj - about several aristo girls in Abuja their sugar daddies. A bit like those "Real Housewives of ..." shows. I'm surprised no one has came up with this one already/<br />
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Real Housewives of Festac - Hahahaha jk jk. Nobody cares about the mainland.<br />
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Wildcard<br />
Commenter battles - we get commenters from Aunty Linda's blog and Ladun's blog. Make them fight to the finish.<br />
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So yeah,<br />
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!<br />
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She took it like a champ. Got right up and went back to work.<br />
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Doesn't Davido have just 3 songs? He gets shows in other countries off that? Can't even knock his hustle.<br />
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