No Country For Goldie

So...this got brought to my attention. I'm so sad right now.

Am I alone on this or is it just that we can’t get enough of Goldie.

You're definitely alone on this one.

Yup, definitely OYO.

The talented Nigerian pop sensation recently released her 2012/2013 Zodiac Calendar where she displays different personas for each of the 12 zodiac signs.

*emphasis mine

Bella Naija really needs to chill. Pop sensation? Has anyone heard her songs? She looks like the Dollar Store Nicki Minaj.

On sale.

And we all know Nicki is homeless man's Lady Gaga. So Goldie is...?

But, that's not even why I'm so upset. Look at this nonsense,

Isn't Taurus a bull? WHY DOES SISTER GOLDIE HAVE AN DAMN ELEPHANT IN HER PICTURE?

It's not like she had no bull pictures or anything.

It's like she just sat there and decided to make up her own zodiac. Look, she's dressed as a bumblebee for pisces,

I'm really upset and I don't think I can voice my feelings with words anymore. So I'll just let my boy Reh Dogg tell you how I really feel.

We can't let Goldie get away with this.

Ghana Really Needs To Go

 Man...

Are You A "Pusssing" Babe?

It's really hard not to hate on Davido. Off 3 songs, he has headlined shows and now he's getting endorsements.

Yes, I'm a hater.

Excuse Me, Mr Banjo

By now, you guys should have heard about D'Banj's name change. If you haven't, you must be living under a rock...or you don't have twitter, which is kinda like the same thing.

I can totally see the thought process. D'Banj is trying to appeal to his "American" fans, so he is changing his name to something they can pronounce. Nothing unprecedented, I mean, Charlie Sheen was born "Carlos Estevez". Or maybe D'Banj wanted to impress this guy,

Let's ignore the fact that no man with braids has been prosperous this year. They're "label" mates, so they're like buddies. Maybe there have been problems pronouncing the name and D'Banj got tired of it all.

Wait.

What's this?

Over the past few weeks Dapo Daniel Oyebanjo aka D’Banj has experienced a series of vicious hacks on several of his social networking sites including his Facebook page and more recently, his Twitter of which his account name was wrongfully changed.

-Vanessa Amadi, D'Banj's PR

GET. THE. ENTIRE. FUCK. OUT. OF. HERE.

In all of recorded history, hackers have never said any of the following:

1. "I'm bored, I should hack D'Banj's twitter"
2. "Oh man, I just learned to hack. I should start from D'Banj's twitter account"
3. I"'m going to hack the bank account of these "SNLoveHate" kids"

Trust me, I've checked. I've done the research.

Seriously, if you hacked D'Banj's twitter, would you "JUST" change the name. I don't know about you, but I'd do way worse. I'd slander the fuck out of Don Jazzy and I'd have the most condescending "ff bk" rejections, just like those #NigerianTwitter big babes.

"I was hacked" must be 2012's version of "It was the devil". D'Banj and his people must think we're complete imbeciles.