Rant No.3 - Sex

...or so they would like you to believe.

"Girl flogged for Having Premarital Sex"
"Sex Video Causes Outrage in Nigeria's Muslim North"
"We Preach Abstinence not Condom"

Headlines like these abound on the national newspapers of Nigeria, although you'd expect a country's press to be representative of the local life, in actuality, Nigerians fuck like rabbits.

And they like it too.

They just don't like to talk about it or even admit it. If you want to get along with Nigerians, never EVER mention, discuss or allude to sex, but make sure you lead a rampant sex life and have as many lovers as you possibly can. When the rumours about your erstwhile activities begin to circulate, deny them furiously and include a few finger-lick-tongue-touch-to-ground-then-air swears and call in the Almighty as your witness, then promptly be seen in church for the next six months. This will win you widespread approval from all Nigerians around.

Never admit to anything, but screw with alacrity. If you can manage not to get/get anyone pregnant and then end up engaged to a man/woman from a wealthy/prominent family in the process, then you will win the undying admiration of all the Nigerians you know.