Once he started being emo, he couldn't be my muse anymore.
Anyway, that’s not why we are here today.
The other day, I was thinking about that ynaija website and its role in the creation of Nigerian fameballs. If you read gawker before that shitty redesign, you’d know what a fameball is. But if you didn’t/don’t, I’ll give you a lowdown on what it takes to be a fameball.
• An unquenchable desire for fame: Obviously. It is what drives all fameballs.
• Shamelessness: Your desire for fame must be greater than that voice in your head screaming, "Stop; you look like an idiot."
• A lack of redeeming talents: This isn't the Nobel Prize, okay? If you're a shameless fame whore but you also, say, cured cancer, one could argue that your talent is being properly appreciated. This will not do.
• An abundance of non-redeeming talents: These may include, but are not limited to: oversharing, self-regard, delusions of grandeur, superficial physical attractiveness, a ridiculous distinctive personal fashion trademark, the ability to talk about oneself without end, conspicuously false modesty, and sluttiness and/or man-whorishness.
Are we on the same page now? Yes? Good.
Oh. Look. There’s a Boko Haram blog.
Very soon, Nigerian girls will get modeling gigs off twitter avatars. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. You don’t want to carry last when the time comes.
The internet just got very real.