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Thursday, November 3, 2011

Memoirs Of A Nobskid (Special Request)

This is back for one time only because of a friend.

Here’s my story even though I know it will be almost impossible for you to believe me. I missed you all.
Noble was gone? I guess I didn't miss much then.
I wonder what he was up to during his hiatus. Maybe he went to find himself or something. He was getting extra emo last time I read the memoirs. 
That's Noble at that TNC thing. He looks like a new man, doesn't he? A bit drained but that's probably the emo seeping out. Speaking of TNC, anybody care to fill me in on what that is? Noble was like the only famous person in those pictures. Is TNC like an avenue for regular people to take "famous people pictures"? If yes, can someone invite me. Your boy is trying to get a reality show.

Anyway, back to the memoirs. 
It’s been months since Zoba and I agreed to go into a NO-SEX-until-marriage relationship. The truth is, I agreed to a no-sex relationship because I figured it would help me prepare for marriage.
Shit. He's still emo. WHY LAWD?
I know some of you may not understand this but the truth is, there are very few men that actually ask their wives for a blow job. I’ve not been married before but I’ve gotten more blow jobs from chics on my borry (not booty or buddy …borry) call-list than the people I have dated. 
So you've decide to save it til marriage? I don't get Noble's logic here. Mo wa confooz
On a more serious note, I’ll like to know if you agree or disagree with me. I think some men does not want to see the mother of their children going up and down on their member. I really wanted to include Blow job on the list but “unwife-like” images kept flooding my mind. 
What have they done with our Noble?
Just because I didn’t want to spoil a good thing or come off as someone who can not do without sex, I told her that I would be okay with just being there for her and would be eager to satisfy her when necessary .
Oh. Noble has a vagina now. Makes sense.
It’s been months and I can tell you that I am doing just fine. 
I was still in bed when the text message came in
"Mr Noble, the HiTV camera will be coming to your house today to record a day in the life of Noble Igwe for the Breakfast show as agreed."
Why does Noble get a reality show before me? What do they want to know? How Noble maintains his head to body ratio?

The clip will be shown on HiTV’s the Breakfast show by 9am on Tuesday, November 1, 2011.
Can someone watch this and tell me how it goes? I'm actually interested to some degree.
Got home and there was no light, so I decided to step out for Ice cream. I tweeted “I feel like Ice Cream factory”, few minutes later, a text message came in. 
Arewa: Pick me up so we can go together.
I quickly had a shower and changed my boxers. I didn’t change my boxers because I was expecting something to happen but I didn’t want to be caught unawares. Our people say ‘Mgberede nyiri dike,mana obu mgberede ka eji ama dike’.
Any Igbo person care to translate that last bit?
She rushed to the car in a few minutes dressed in a see-thru tight t-shirt; I could see her entire boobs well packed in a red bra. She was packing the sort of boobs that would make any newly born kid reject his or her mother’s breast milk and demand for hers.
Vintage Noble. Vintage M&B Noble.
Arewa: hey Nobs, this rain is serious ooo, don’t you want to come in? 
I can swear that I heard CUM in.
 This could get interesting.
I’ve not had sex in a while and Arewa’s nri nwa was looking better than the entire Ice cream flavours at ice cream factory. I got out of the car and followed her in…
Oooooohhhh. Can't wait for next week. Maybe old Noble is coming back after all. Just maybe.


  1. i can't believe you're not going to be continuing this regularly. WHYYYYYY?! you're devastating my lifespace over here. on a serious note. biko. never stop yabbing the memoirs. abeg.

  2. Everything that Zara just said.
    Thank you.

  3. My life is complete again.
    Thank you.

  4. ‘Mgberede nyiri dike, mana obu mgberede ka eji ama dike’.

    Emergencies defeat champions, but it is through emergencies that champions are identified.

  5. Haba this guy. U want make I beg you. Oya, plix now. How are we supposed to know what is going on with Noble if you take away the commentary. That Head to Body ratio picture gives me life...yels!!