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Monday, April 4, 2011

Memoirs of a Nobskid II

It’s Monday and Nobs has put out this week’s edition of his memoirs. OMG! OMG! OMG!

Memoirs of a Nobskid 41

As if I didn’t have enough to deal with, a certain someone suggested going down on a lady to make the flu go away; I have not tried it yet at the point of writing this, but I cannot assure you that I will not consider it afterwards; if I can get a volunteer here that is.
Is nagging accepted in a court of law as a basis for seeking divorce? I mean how can a man go to work, spend the whole day thinking about ideas that will improve sales and on getting home, the first thing you hear is “Where are you coming from?” and no, “the office” is never an expected answer.
I think some men go to ‘recreation’ clubs after work not because they are interested in any game but because it provides them with a “waiting area” so that when they get home, their wives would be asleep.
Wise words from the great Nobs again. Nobs > Pete Edochie > Plato > Rev Run

She was wearing a short dress revealing enough cleavage to make a man want to sell his entire village.
I don’t blame Nobs. Cleavage > Raw breast. In JSS1, I gave out my puff-puff for cleavage. Ok, I lie, but I thought about it.
She was about to become someone’s wife and I had the opportunity of being her first. I’m really not a huge fan of being someone’s first but maybe sleeping with Ada will teach Iyke a bitter lesson.
I thought he didn’t want to settle with her. Ok, I cheated a bit. I glanced at couple of the previous installments before to understand this whole Noble-Ada thing. Ada is a naïve villager and Noble is fond of her but he doesn’t want a future with her. Or something like that. There was a lot empty gist so I couldn’t focus but…

She sat down on the bed and from the angle she was sitting I could see her panties and I liked it. There’s something about seeing a lil bit of a chic’s panties. It’s not a crime; it’s just a hobby.
Noble is such a classy man. Turned on by the little things. I wish I was like Noble.
Ada: I missed you
Nobs: No, you didn’t. How’s your husband?
Ada: He’s fine but that’s not why I’m here.
Nobs: Well, I have to ask about him
Ada: Tell me, are you going to come for my wedding?
Nobs: At this moment, I’m still thinking about it.
Ada: Buzor, this is so wrong to say but I still think I’m about to get married to the wrong man because my heart belongs to you and you alone. I may regret all these tomorrow but right now all I want to do is sleep beside you.
I just wanted to stop her from saying more with my mouth.
You. Go. Fear. Bad. Goiz.
She then started to cry; I couldn’t watch her cry without doing anything. So I moved to hold her. I held her close to my chest. She smelt so nice. I could tell she only just had her bath. She turned and her lips met mine. That was it
If this whole memoir thing doesn’t work out, Noble can always write for Mills & Boon. I’m willing to bet $5 that uses “member” to describe his penis.
It was obvious that I was hugely turned on and when my hands grabbed her boobs, I quickly moved my hands to unzip her dress. She was wearing no bra and she stood up to take off the dress.
Does anyone know who runs that M&B publishing house? They NEED this man.
Ada: Buzor, make me a woman.
Nobs: Ada, it’s not that simple but
She placed her finger on my lips to stop me from talking
“Make me a woman”??? *rolling*
Nobs: Ada, we have to stop now. We can’t do this. You will bring shame to your family and your mother will never forgive me.
Ada: Buzor, don’t break my heart.
Nobs: Ada, we just have to stop.
Ada: So are you asking me to dress up?
Nobs: Yes, please
Awwwww…Noble is so noble (see what I did there? *high five*)
This was very emotional for me and maybe we are really meant for each other.
It’s about 2 weeks to her wedding and I can make her stop now, what do you think?
Hurry! We need to help Nobs. What shall he ever do? He can’t let her marry another man. This is like one of those American romantic feems. I’m so excited!!!!!!

Disclaimer: This is all for trips. Nobs is probably a great guy and these stories are probably true. I just like making fun of things.


  1. lmao!!!!! u have killed nobs oooo "feem" ??? lol love love love this

  2. buahahahahahaha
    do u know the part i loved most
    u managed to diss him without any insult
    plus its funny too
    Nobs is a nice guy though

  3. haha. Nobs be going hard in his memoirs though.

    hahhahahaha, I can't stop laughing but the Ada line that killed me was
    "Buzor, add me to blackberry chatting" via text message.

  4. i am in tears of laughter!! TEARS, i tell you! oh jesu, i'm dying over here. *goes to spread this hilarity*

  5. So i can't really say how i got here but @NgoziC ( Jennifer C) said she was going to blog about memoirs and somehow i ended up here.
    I had a nice time.


  6. Woah. THE Noble dropped a comment. Sweeeeeeeeet!

  7. LOL! Y'all are a mess i swear.
    However i shall be needing you to run commentary for me on a weekly basis now because this is pure hilarity

  8. buhahahahahaha *rolling* @sabirah u mean Worst??!! LOL

  9. M&B!!! Honestly oh hahaha. But come oh, are you sure these memoirs are even real?? *side eye*


  10. LOL!! OMDZ! Lovely.. laughed all through.. just what I needed..

  11. okay, this is better than reading the main thing.

  12. Hahahaha...see? This is why commentary makes soccer much better.

  13. Lmfao!..U guyz killd it!.*Hilarious*.:=))..Btw I think d Noble memoirs r jst a figment of hz imagination!..Wt girls wud want 2 shag a man who jst goes on 2 blog 'bout hz sexual xperiences!..Lyk rilly!..

  14. @Ninee, apparently girls in my dear Naija are...sexually free (politically correct term). Nobs, shey you use proper precaution...I have heard too many of my educated young naija brothers saying "she didn't look like she had anything" (smh).