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Monday, May 9, 2011

Memoirs of a Nobskid V

What is this?

Nobs updated the memoirs? (Thanks, @somakudi for the heads up)

The last time we were here, I was willing to bet $50 that Nobs proposed to Ada.

My offer still stands.
Kim: I had a really good time at yours, how do I say “Thank you”
Nobs: Saying “Thank you” would be enough
Kim: I want to say a “Thank you” you’ll always remember.
Nobs; So what do we do?
Kim: Can you drive while I mouth-ride you?
Nobs: Wow. All the way to Ikoyi?
Kim: If you can hold it, why not?
Nobs: This must be an interesting “Thank you”
Woah! Woah! Wozzalldis? Who is Kim? What happened to Ada?
...she undid my fly and slipped in her hand. She kept her hands in and few minutes to the toll, she brought it out and lowered her head.
Noble in rare form. Mills & Boon form. 
It took the honking from the car behind to bring me back to reality. I didn’t want to get involved in an accident so I begged Kim to chill a bit.
I agree with Noble, road head is distracting. I got it once when I driving to Houston some time ago. Kept air high-fiving other drivers on the highway. Apart from this one old lady that gave me this weird stare. She was a hater so it doesn't matter.

I digress.
With the car parked meters away from her gate, she finished what she started and as HEAD girl Teamswallow, it was a nice Thank You.
Spitters are quitters. The gospel according to Noble, the Igwe.
I drove home with different images of KIM on my mind and at some point; I toyed with the idea of stealing her from her boyfriend.
You go fear bad goiz. Have you seen Source Code? You how there are a bunch of alternate universes? I bet I'm like Noble in some other alternate universe. This fact alone consoles me. I might not be blocking babes in this universe but in some other universe, the "HEADgirl Teamswallow" is telling me "thank you" in my car.
Last week, some people were pissed that kim is in a relationship and is having an affair with me.
Wait! There were memoirs last week? I've obviously been slacking. I'll have ton interrupt this week's memoirs so we can see the origins of this Kim gist. The rest of week 46 is boring anyway.
Nobs: Hey cute boobs
Kim: Hey Hob Nobs
Nobs: The candy special?
Kim: What? I don’t get it
Nobs: I meant, “Hob Nobs candy special” you can’t eat it, but you can suck on it.
Kim: You are such a spoilt child.
Nobs: And I can do things to you
Kim: like?
Nobs: Like if you can come to the De marquee, I can show you in the car park.
Nobs: I’m holding things down with my hands.
Kim: Nobs, you are getting me wet. Stop already.
Nobs: Babe, I’m hard and my hardness is like a Christmas ticket to Nigeria

Kim: Hey Nobs, are you awake?
Nobs: erm yes, is everything okay?
Kim : I need you to work me through. He’s done and asleep
He = Kim's boyfriend

Nobs: I don’t get ?
Kim: He left me hanging as usual so I’m in the bathroom to take care of me.
Nobs: Pele. Anything for you but if only you had come, we won’t be going having this sort of conversation.
Nobs' sex game is obviously > the average man. They don't call him "Noble, the Igwe" for nothing.
So I called and we were able to make her cum. I know think that many women go through the same thing but I think it’s totally wrong for any man to leave a woman hanging and not even bother to help her in a any way.
Always a gentleman. Noble even thinks "Ladies first" in bed. Noble is obviously a better man than I am. I probably would have rolled over and started watching ESPN. #shrug
We finally got to mine
Kim; have you got my wine and chocolate?
Nobs: let me get em
I got the wine and chocolate. Poured some into her glass and then asked her to take off her dress.
I won't lie, the first thing that came to my wind was "alomo and chocomilo".
She undressed slowly and was left with only her panties and bra. She bent towards me to get her drink, putting the huge boobs in my direction.

I let her sip some wine, dropped the glass and then I pushed her up against the wall with her back to me.

I asked her not to look back and I picked a cube of ice from the ice bucket, dipped it in wine and used it on her nipples. I could tell she liked it because she tilted her head backwards and kept moaning in small tones.

I moved the ice from her nipples, through her back, down to her thighs and legs leaving a trace of water with my movement.

I went back to retrace the line with my tongue with one hand working her right nipple.

I then gently put her on the bed, dipped a chocolate bar in wine and gave her to eat but as soon as she took a bite, I covered her lips with mine.

Chocolate+exchange of saliva+fingers running through her body= bliss

With every piece of clothing off, I compensated her for all the things that she missed.

It was a night of 4th mainland bridge.

This the email address for Mills & Boon HR -
Let's get this man where he needs to be.
Noble traces lines with his tongue. No ruler or anything. With his tongue only! People, you don't seem to understand the greatness that is Noble, the Igwe.


  1. NO we can never understand....Lmaol

  2. LMAO! Chai! Are you sure you can match up to Nobs even in an alternate universe? He made her come via remote control oh! LOL


  3. OMG!!!!!

    I had to look for you on twitter today cuz you have been slacking!

    Thank you, thank you, thank you!
    Please don't stop.

  4. Long-distance orgasm. Badt goiz things.

    Haha, your commentary kills me yo, Nosa!!! (look at me famzing on firstname basis). This is so much better than the memoirs uncut.
    Side eye to receiving road head, i hope some females don't kick the bucket with 'whipcream' in their mouth lol.

  5. Notes are being taken, one day God will allow me try this before i die hahaha

  6. Nobs oh Nobs....
    lol @ long distance orgasm *evil grin*

  7. lmao...mills and boons has got nothing on this guy.similes and metaphors. i don't get the hardness being like christmas ticket to nigeria but that is still simile.

  8. I'm so mad at ya.
    You didn't inform me that you've updated.
    Nice 2 as usual


  9. Hahaha...Please I had to tweet..told my Tl to holla at u if they knew who u were and inform u that Nob's had updated....Any ways, happy u're back :D

    @Leggy Christmas tickets to Nigeria are very very hard to yeah, that's how hard he is *giggles*

    *wipes tears*

  11. "Noble traces lines with his tongue. No ruler or anything. With his tongue only!"

    ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!! This is just too hilarious for words!

    Now following this blog!

  12. "I let her sip some wine, dropped the glass and then I pushed her up against the wall with her back to me.

    I asked her not to look back and I picked a cube of ice from the ice bucket, dipped it in wine and used it on her nipples."

    WHAT??? From the chair to the wall??? Is this The Matrix??

    THEN do people put wine in ice buckets??? Only Nobs!!!